up now on "the soup," we
Refill our honey juice for honey
Boo-boo child.
Rampage.Girls on the
Creepy small town security and
What made joel say
This.
is this creepy?
now let's hear it for the
Ost who is watching it all for
You, joel mchale!
[applause]
welcome to "the soup."
Olympic torch has been
Stolen.
Team, I'm not ng
Pointing any fingers and please
Don't point anything back at me.
E just wanted it back.
Sideline cs have been
Covered the have
Past few weeks.
Thank heaven I don't think of
As people.
The good news is there are more
Exciting things than the
Olympics going on.
As an avid train watcher, I can
Tell you nothing compares to
C.W. Come 00
Barreling down track.
He spied a 1953 e.A.
That's right, you guessed it.
B.L. Mother fing 2.
Look at that.
Oh, yeah.
To that bell.
Yeah, listen to that bell.
Take a look at that.
Oh, my god!
Whoo!
Listen to that horn!
Oh, my god, she's beautiful!
He is beautiful, yeah!
Not the train's horn.
Brake the train's
Whistle.
The guy keeps shouting at me.
Yelling.
We're the only nonnbc network
Olympics bring you
Coverage.
It is the women's beer olympics.
Contest in which young
Female athletes display their
Such as the ts
Single headed cake stand, the
Bong and the bringing your
A stroller. In
Some integrity.
because there was a real
Last year with the beer
Olympians not taking this
Seriously.
And of course, bring paper
Your ass after
Your get the massive beer [beep]
Other less integrity filled
They have not been
Reporting on the olympics
Because they have been covering
Important. Re
Brigitte back at
Elsen's past struggle with
Drugs.
What ever happened to adam ant?
His new him for
Comeback when e.T. Returns.
He is out selling
Wonder tonic out of the back of
Is stagecoach.
It curious measles, gout and the
Apors.
[laughter]
Tom sizemore and
Ohnny depp had a baby.
Justin bieber dissed prince
Hair. 's thing
He said, I mean there are things
O prevent that nowadays.
Like propecia.
I don't know why he doesn't just
Those things, those
Products.
Over heeb?T got it
I don't know.
Maybe prince william just
Like velma. To look
[applause]
Hey.
Ee, they are clapping.
A few pictures together and they
Re clapping.
Randy travis was arrested for
Driving while intoxicated.
See if you can tell when it gets
Eally sad.
Police in grayson county, texas
Arrived at the scene of an
Randy t where they found
Travis lying naked on the
Highway.
Hey noticed his car had driven
Off the road and driven into a
Construction site.
He arrested him and
Threatened to shoot and kill the
Troopers while working on the
And also he was driving a
988 pontiac transam.
[laughter]
That is going to make one hell
Of a country song.
[laughter]
Hey, now that you're all sobered
Up, anything to say about some
Officers?Esting
Isn't e situation room
Explaining the situation to you
From some manner of room, they
Here do pieces about
She is bothering black people.
For all of these years,
Suddenly we're faced with lions?
I could never become snoop
Lion if I was never snoop dogg.
The news? Guys hear
Snoop dogg changed his name to
Snoop lion.
I don't know, I like the old
Snoop dogg.
Changed his name to
Snoop lion.
I kid you not.
[laughter]
apparently blacks are an
Indifferent people.
I'm out and about with the
Blacks.
Nd this shirt.
[laughter]
Let's have some hilarious chat
Tew.
so meaty.
we live in exciting times, my
Friend.
We landed a vehicle on mars and
To discuss this
Occasion than the scientific
Of shepherd smith.
we have some science we are
Planning to do on on mars.
Asking the question, could
Life have existed or does it
Mars?Exist on
Which has a profound implication
To whether we're alone or
Not.
I'm assuming that we're
Something about
Something here.
It would be cool to know if
There was ever life on mars.
Besides it being cool, how does
That help?
[laughter]
hey, did you see that
Batman" movie.
Now that was cool.
Now if we can get the batman to
Rs or get the batman to --
[laughter]
Ou see where I'm headed there,
Science man?
How would that help?
[laughter]
Is that a two-part question?
Now a look at what you'll be
Of your summerst
Thinking about.
they have been lovers for an
Eternity.
Months.
they have endured hardships.
a home renovation in bel air.
Soup is throwing
Ennifer aniston and justin
Thoreaux a party.
Caterer.
the minister who was ordained
Just for this.
I am ordained!
Crap, I forgot to hit enter.
I am ordained!
the dress.
Got my -- overtime
To spin the silk.
Pin.
Come on, spin for chin.
marcel and ugly naked guy.
My penis cozy.
the french and indian war.
The little engine that could.
"the soup's" ed
Wedding of the century for
Are er and justin and so
Jennifer and justin.
Will they attend?
Ou're invited.
Watch "the soup" all summer long
Exciting wedding updates.
Seize and desist
Letter comes in.
Stay tuned for reality show
Clip time to see who gets
clicked off "the bad girl's
[applause]
welcome back!
Scented appy
Flashlight tingling?
It is time for tales
From home shopping.
Is mars rover curiosity
Getting all the headlines this
Week, but for a real engineering
You should look at
.V.C.'s flameless candles.
your chice of either the
Evergreen or the
Birch l embossdz
Flameless cannedle with a
Programmable timer which is the
Timer technology when
Candles to flameless
And it has a scent to it.
But I'm aow about you
Smelly girl.
Lamp with a timer.
It looks like it has a wick on
It!
That is amaze amazing.
That candle and made it
Into a lamp?
it takes mediocrity to a new
Level.
yes, james murphy.
[applause]
I know you love flameless
Candles as much as I do.
Joel, it is also an electric
Candleless. S also
they take both of those
Things out of things they just
Together.
Advertise minimalist.
Stupid. Is just
exercise exactly what I'm
Saying.
Deal out of it
Ich is what flameless candle
Does best.
[applause]
wow, it is still lit.
Burned. Eing
Bachelor pad's jamie is looking
Or love in a completely sane
And nondesperate way.
Her became the target of
In control not at all obsessive
Imperfections.
Chris likes me so exciting!
I'm here for a reason.
I'm a sucker for love.
The d to fall in love on
Show.
It would be so amazing.
I want to fall in love on tv.
Show him that I'm
Sexy.
That I'm a woman.
That I would be able to please
And make him happy.
K.
[laughter]
Ok. 's
I'll just wait right here at
Your bunk bed until you're ready
Love to me or until
You're ready to be killed in
Your sleep.
Whichever comes first.
Rush you. T to
In fact, we can combine them.
Home rica is being send
From the bad girl's club because
Girl. Ched another
It is a sad moment when the rest
Of the girls find out she has to
Go.
Why am I going home?
the punch to the face was
Pretty brutal.
You can say your goodbyes and
They have a car waiting for you
Outside.
erika.
I have to go home.
why?
Beat this I brutally
Bitch up.
are you serious?
This time aving
¶
I regret in hing
The house is the way I beat rema
Because maybe if I would have
Took it a little notch lower I
Going home now.
the house feels so empty
Sound of erika's
Fist slamming into someone's
Face.
[laughter]
strange sex lives up to its
Week in and week out.
It is creepy, gross and in this
Case, total b.S.
no muss, no fuss.
You get home and just take a few
Flex your muscles
Into that orelf go
Gasm phase.
it is that way to facilitate
Erotic arousal in a way that
Doesn't go for the genitals.
[laughter]
anything yet?
Ope.
Not a thing.
is this creepy?
Only if it starts working.
[laughter]
maybe we should stop before
Starts working.
you're right.
Better safe than sorry.
Though. D of nice,
should we make a weird sound?
no.
Aaaahhhhhh.
[laughter]
Tlc -- ore --
[applause]
Murphy.
Tlc is airing their counterpart
To having kids get an education
"here comes honey boo-boo
Child."
Of the little pageant
Queen who stole our hearts.
Heck out her mama June who
Talks so fast you can't
Understand her.
Saving a little bit of money
To -- my favorite place.
Weekly auction.
Ery sentimental.
We save money anywhere we can.
[sneezing]
she is careful to cover her
She sneezes for
Reasons.
A cameraman got hit in the eye
With a chicken bone.
Cream cheese frosting.
This family has many tv shows as
Cases of type two
Diabetes.
this is what we call
Roadkill.
Ur local law enforcement
Called.
Hey, somebody hit a deer because
They know that we'll use it.
Are you ready?
when we get a deer whether it
Name it.R female, we
This one was named darlene .
Darlene .
Arlene .
mm-mm.
good dar leeb.
take a bite, baby.
big bite of darlene .
she is saying let me out.
Is going to be good in my
Belly.
She is saying let me out.
Deranged. E she is
She was born out of a giant
Talking thumb.
Ou have sex with a thumb and
See if something normal comes
Out!
[laughter]
Letter time?
All right.
David wn security, the
Lynch film of reality shows,
Aptain irwin seen here wearing
Someone else's hair and talking
About mashing his feces up with
A stick.
Seriously.
Had his cousin come by and they
The dinner scene from
The original texas chainsaw
Massacre.
Said was untrue.
good god!
Another one.
Crazy.
Blew a hole in my clean x.
she just loses control.
E careful.
Literally.
He will wet herself.
N the chair, on the floor.
[laughter]
Go home and get me another
Pair of pants.
[laughter]
wow.
Even say e -- I can't
It.
We'll be right back.
Of the n for the clip
Week from maury to see which of
these guys is the father of this
[applause]
welcome back.
Which brings us to our clip of
He week.
The comedy "three men and a
25 years a hit film
Ago.
Attemptedmaury povich
A remake changing things up ever
So slightly.
Of isty believes the father
Her son ron is a man named
Mario.
If the father isn't mario, then
It is a man named dee.
It is not dee then it is
Dee's brother.
Then see it is not timboo
It is a man named black.
I hate it when people don't
Show up to award shows because
They think they are too good for
Them.
Marlon brando.
Woody allen.
Is not the lack
Father.
[applause]
Ron, case of 6-month-old
Mario, you you are not the
Father.
Case of 6-month-old ron,
Are not the father.
I take care of mine.
-And dee, you are not
[applause]
yeah!
Wait, wait.
Let's go backstage for a second.
we will help you.
All right?
Test some ck and
Other guys.
Test some other people.
[laughter]
Thank james murphy
For being here, and he is the
Father.
His movie "shut up and
Play the hits."
It is playing in select
heaters.